This show just doesn't waste any time getting right to it. I mean I have barely settled in before I am hit with Kim and one of the sisters, Khloe? Kameron? Kolorado?, working out in skin tight outfits talking about their, well, unmentionables. Wow. So hot and the timer on my DVR only says we're only 1 minute in.
If a meteor could hit my house right now and not harm my wife and kids I think I would take that.
Big drama this week as Kmom/Kmanager is thinking of changing her last name back to Kardashian from Jenner. I just found out this week that her first name is Kris. Of course it is. Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and the 15-yr-old, Kelly? Kalico? Kalifornia? Whatever. All 'K' names. Thus Mom/Manager has become Kmom/Kmanager.
Kim just said, "I mean people ask me all the time if my butt is real". I know what she means. We did an appearance last year at Riverfront Auto Sales and people kept stopping by to ask me if my butt was real and it just got, like, so old, you know? Now Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney are searching 'Kim butt implants' on the internet. They decide that the best course of action to put an end to all of this butt speculation is for Kim to have an X-Ray of her butt done.
Back to the last name drama. Kmom/Kmanager, Kim, and the 15 yr old, Karen? Kallista? Konstantanople? are talking about their last name and Kmom/Kmanager is making the point that the name is their brand and that is more important than her husband, Olympic Decathlon Champion Bruce Jenner's feelings about their last name. Kim calls Kmom/Kmanager a sell out and Kmom/Kmanager says this..."A sell out? It's like, it's like a brand, it's like the Kennedys. Everybody knows the Kennedys."
Is my debt paid off yet? Can I go volunteer somewhere or pick up trash on the side of the road? How about if I get in a kayak and clean up Scajaquada Creek with my bare hands? Or with my teeth.
It seems the sisters have convinced Kim to get an X-Ray to once and for all prove the authenticity of her butt. There you go America. You demanded a resolution to this controversy and now you'll have one. These girls should get to work on the NFL lockout and the Buffalo Schools. Then we'd see some real action.
Olympic Decathlon Champion Bruce Jenner walks into Kmom/Kmanager's office and asks what she's doing. The answer should be something about how she's sitting in there with a camera crew waiting for him to come in and pitch a fit about her changing her last name back to Kardashian like they talked about him doing before they decided to have the camera crew set up in there. Anyways, he's mad and hurt. You can see it written all over his weather-beaten, leathery looking, surgically altered face.
Time is standing still or perhaps even going backwards as the timer on my DVR says we are only 13-minutes into this septic tank of a show. I've never wanted a power outage more.
X-Ray time. OMG! LOL! Is there one of these for 'Kill me quick'? KMQ? One of these idiot sisters says the fact that Kim is getting a butt X-Ray is iconic.
If anyone knows of a foolproof way to have football games fixed so I can avoid losing this bet again next year please reach out to me.
Her butt is real. I know I feel better.
Wait, There is another sister? Kiley? Kara? Krayola?