Share This: |
Photo: Brad Penner - USA TODAY Sports
Posted: Sunday, 01 January 2017 8:22PM

Bulldog: New Year's Day game day log

10 a.m. - Wake up after staying up past midnight to watch the festivities. And by watch the festivities I mostly mean tweeting about Mariah Carey's tape malfunction/brain lock/unrehearsed hilariously bad "performance" in Times Square. If you missed it, do yourself a favor and google it. It was epic.

11 a.m. - Notice that Howard Simon has tweeted that he is surprised at how many calls and tweets he's getting about this game vs Jets actually being some kind of an audition for EJ Manuel for next season. Like, with the Bills, apparently.  I immediately begin pondering my career choice.

11:03 a.m. - Resist the urge to add bourbon to my coffee.

11:04 a.m. - Resist the urge to add bourbon to my coffee.

11:05 a.m. - Resist the urge to add bourbon to my coffee.

11:05:30 a.m. - Resist the urge to add bourbon... ok I'll stop now.

11:30 a.m. - Shower. Really, do you need any details here? Of course you don't.

11:40 a.m. - Realize yet again that I am about to watch the Bills and Jets play with EJ Manuel quarterbacking the Bills and Ryan Fitzpatrick doing likewise for the Jets. Immediately reconsider bourbon in the coffee idea.

11:45 a.m. - Decide that if working a meaningless Bills season finale that it is perfectly acceptable to wear your unwashed sweatpants, you know the ones with the stains from last night's pizza making all over them, to the studio.

Noon - Say goodbye to the family and sigh as they actually try to sound like they're going to miss me when in reality they're just glad that I'm leaving as they know this means they won't have to listen to me watch the Bills game in our living room.

12:40 p.m. - Driving to the studio in my truck I hear the Buffalo Chicken Crunch Roll ad and get excited hoping that maybe today is the day that there is a box/case/crate/pallet of the "official finger food of WGR" waiting for me when I walk in.

12:44 p.m. - Pull into the extra empty parking lot at work and promptly burn a series of donuts in my truck. Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

12:46 p.m. - 2017 is surely not going to be any better than '16 as once again there are NOT any Buffalo Chicken Crunch Rolls waiting for me.

1 p.m. - Kickoff is almost at hand and I'm making the decision not to wear shoes the rest of the day.  

1:02 p.m. - Bills win the toss and will RECEIVE. See, things are already different under Anthony Lynn.  It's a new era baby!!!!

1:05 p.m. - Manuel completes his first two passes and I'm already bracing to get run over by EJ truthers on the post game show.

1:07 p.m. - Ramon Humber with the tackle in punt coverage and there is absolutely nothing notable about this other than I was looking for a reason to put the name Ramon Humber into one of these blogs.

1:10 p.m. - Bilal Powell runs for 23 yards through a hole big enough to drive a bus through.

1:11 p.m. - Fitzpatrick throws incomplete on his first attempt and the Jets fans boo.

1:22 p.m. - The Jets have a guy named Brandon Wilds on their team. 

1:25 p.m. - The Jets are going for it on 4th and 1 deep in Bills territory and apparently anything goes today.

1:28 p.m. - After taking a timeout, the Bills hold and I've got one word for you...MOMENTUM!

1:38 p.m. - After picking up one first down, the Bills punt the ball back to the Jets.

1:39 p.m. - Well, that was a good tackle by Graham at the end of that 51 yard pass. See, trying to be positive in 2017.

1:43 p.m. - The Jets get a TD and I'm fading.

1:47 p.m. - Don't despair Bills fans. We all know EJ Manuel is at his most dangerous when backed into a corner. Shut up, I have not been drinking.

1:52 p.m. - The Bills punt for a 4th time on the day. Manuel is 4/8 for 25 yards. The Bills have rushed for 33 yards and LeSean McCoy is done for the day with an ankle injury.

2:08 p.m. - Manuel throws a ground ball dribbler to an open Charles Clay at the goal line and the Bills will get a field goal. I can hope that throw will slow down any EJ supporters who want to bend my ear after the game.

2:19 p.m. - Jets tack on a field goal to end the half up 10-3. I'm not even going to pretend that the leftover homemade pizza I'm about to eat will not be the highlight of my day.

2:44 p.m. - It seems the 2nd half started a few minutes ago. Please forgive me for not exactly being "dialed in" over here.  

2:47 p.m. - Marcus Roberson? Ok, Marcus Roberson.

2:56 p.m. - EJ Manuel gets hit by a subway train, probably fumbles. Jets challenge. Let's wait and see how this turns out.

3:15 p.m. - Hahahah just kidding. The review didn't take that long. Jets ball. It's really only 3:00pm, by the way.

3:02 p.m. - Jets TD.  Lead 17-3. Post game coming up.

3:15 p.m. - Jets field goal 20-3 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, wait, what? Cardale Jones just grabbed his helmet.  Hey now!

3:19 p.m. - Gillislee busts a nice run and clearly this team responds better to Jones. Relax, I'm kidding.

3:23 p.m. - Bills go for it on 4th and 7 from the Jets 21. Jones misfires but is hit in the head but the officials also call grounding even though the hit on Jones caused the ball to be delivered to an empty spot on the field. So the Bills should've had a 1st down after the blow to the head but instead try 4th down again and Jones throws incomplete.

3:33 p.m. - Bills go 3 and out. Maybe they should've brought Manuel off the bench to try the hard count and see if they could get the Jets to jump offsides.

3:49 p.m. - lololololololololololhahahahahahahahahahahahalololololololololololol and the play by play guy caps it off with a Mariah Carey blast.  

3:50 p.m. - That was all in reference to the botched kick return that the Bills allowed the Jets to fall on in the end zone for a touchdown.

4:10 p.m. - Post game show starts.

4:49 p.m. - Wishing very much that I was with my family. Maybe walking to the new Deep South Taco that opened today near our house. Smashing my face into a giant platter of their nachos seems like a really good decision right now.

5:17 p.m. - A post game show caller asserts that EJ Manuel has not received a fair shake  from the Bills. A raw deal, even. I thank him for calling and disagree with his assessment in a calm, almost serene fashion. I'm not really sure who I am at this point and also feel like I may have let some of our audience, those who might've been looking forward to my mind being run through a wood chipper, down.  I'm so sorry. I'll try to do better in the future.

6 p.m. - The final post game show of the 2016 season ends. 

6:14 p.m. - Hello Lord Hobo Boom Sauce. 

6:26 p.m. - Thank you for everything all season Bills fans. Despite how it sometimes sounds I still consider it a privilege to talk with you on game days and all year 'round. 

Happy New Year.