I am so sorry for the delay here with my latest entry on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I watched five minutes of the latest episode Monday when I got back from vacation. Five minutes was all I could stand.
For 167 1/2 hours a week I love my life. My wife, my kids, my job. This half an hour a week makes me wish I was dead.
Scott wants to marry Kourtney. Kourtney wants to have another baby and is ignoring Kmom/Kmanager pleading with her to get married while they shop for shrubs.
Scott goes to see a therapist to talk about his feelings. What he really should do is offer an explanation for wearing his button down shirt open to nearly his belly button. Scott sucks.
Lamar thinks he could do porn. Congrats on that buddy.
Khloe says this is what happens when you marry someone you have known only a month.
I hate these people.
Kmom/Kmanager is going to become a Minister so she can marry Pastor Brad. I should say preside over the service where Pastor Brad will marry someone else. He's not marrying Kmom/Kmanager. She's already married to a surgically shredded Bruce Jenner.
There was a time in my life when I drank. A lot. Nearly all of the time I feel glad that I don't do that anymore. Right now is not one of those times.
Seriously. Watching this show could convince you that we as a people have peaked and it is all downhill from here. If thousands of years from now we are back to living in caves and hunting with spears, blame this show. Or global warming. Whatever.
Back at the tire fire, Bruce Jenner is feeding an ailing Khloe chicken soup and talking about how Kmom/Kmanager will get liquored up before she performs the ceremony where Pastor Brad gets married.
Next we have Kmom/Kmanager talking to some lady who is identified as Lisa, Kris' friend. Who the hell is Kris? How many of these people are there? Is there another daughter I have yet to meet? I really have been paying attention. This is my job after all. I know Kim is in a relationship with NBA player Kris Humphries but he's in New Jersey and it doesn't make much sense to me that some middle aged lady in Los Angeles talking to Kmom/Kmanager would be tied to him. Wow. I can't wait to find out, can you?
Dramas over. Kmom/Kmanager is named Kris. I think. Sorry. I'm not very good at this. Maybe because I wish my head was inside my oven right now.
Now there is a big argument involving too many of these jokers to list. Okay, I really could list them, but my kids are going to be waking up soon and I really want to be done with this by then. The argument is about Kourtney and Scott not getting married. There is a lot of bleeping, so it's pretty heated. The parts that aren't bleeped sounds like angry/injured birds stuck inside of my head.
Maybe some Jameson in my coffee wouldn't be the worst thing ever.
Kim and Kourtney are having a really deep and meaningful conversation about marriage and their parents divorce and it really is touching. I mean they are really digging deep here folks. Soul baring stuff. The scene actually lasts for almost a minute, which is a really long time for this show to go without some lame soundtrack music, scene shifting crap.
This episode ends with Kmom/Kmanager again talking with Kourtney about why she wants her and Scott to be married. She only wants the best for her girls.
Which of course why their lives are being filmed, edited, and then presented on E while some Maroon 5 wanna be band plays underneath it all.
I'm done for today. I am going to go for a run, maybe on the 33.
Talk to you at 3.