That's what my Grandma Urban and Aunt Rita used to say at family gatherings when I was a kid. How many of those family gatherings were marred by heartbreaking losses by the Bills I can't be sure. Likely more than a few.
Forgive the rather frivolous metaphor, but I stumbled into speaking about the Bills loss to Tennessee as being an all you can eat buffet during the post game show and I'm going all the way with it.
Kind of like Chris Johnson. At least we've heard of him unlike that guy from the Patriots who went off against the Bills 3 weeks ago.
We've been at this awhile, so when a way to describe your frustration presents itself the prudent thing to do is to stick with it before you realize how flawed it is.
You know, like the Bills defensive game plans. Or the moves to upgrade the defense overall.
Oh, you want choices? I've got choices.
This game was like a chocolate wonder fall for complaining. Do I need to use a trademark with chocolate wonder fall? Is wonder fall one word? My iPad keeps making it two, so you know, I guess that's that. Whatever.
Here we go, and make sure you see the guy at the end of the line, he's making Belgian Waffles.
Kyle Moore got more pressure from the left defensive end position than Mario Williams. Awesome. How much did the Bills pay Mario again? Who exactly is Kyle Moore? Would you like some freshly carved roast beef?
The run defense is a tire fire. The Bills went into this game buck naked last in the NFL in run defense, averaging 174 yards against per game. You don't have to be a statistical wizard to figure that the 197 yards the Titans plastered on the Bills isn't going to improve that any.
Want an omelette made to order? Consider that Tennessee came into the game last in rushing yards per game. Was that a Western or Greek omelette?
The guy who replaced the beloved punter just about put one into the crowd at crunch time. I know that it didn't directly cost the Bills, but have you been to the ice cream bar yet? They have five different kinds of sprinkles.
Look, don't bother me with whether or not I can actually think of five different kinds of sprinkles. If such a place existed I might be forced to take my family there no matter how far away it was. I mean like, even Ohio. I'd drive to Ohio for five different kinds of sprinkles or my children would kill me in my sleep.
Still hungry? No problem. Our formerly beloved kind of still bearded quarterback threw his worst five passes of the game at the end, one of which was intercepted.
Is liquor included in the buffet? Can I get a get a five gallon drum of Bloody Mary's over here please?
Good luck finding a Bills fan heading into the bye week who thinks Fitzpatrick has what it takes to take the Bills anywhere near the playoffs. This would be kind of too bad seeing as how he played his best game of the season right up until about the final four minutes or so. But you know, the final four minutes count. Fitzpatrick's final five passes went interception, kind of useless, time sucking completion to Jackson, an even less useful, time sucking completion to Chandler, incompletion, and then for good measure, a grossly under thrown, not even close, maybe Geno Smith's draft stock is falling after West Virginia got their doors blown off two weeks in a row throw on fourth down.
I know, he was pressured on that last one.
Are those crab legs? I didn't know they had crab legs. If I knew they had crab legs I would've been out front with my socks and sandals waiting for them to open the doors!
Oh hey, before you leave, let's not forget the wide open Titans catching passes from Matt Hasselbeck. That was awesome. None of them was Wes Welker, by the way.
Free refills on drinks. Can I give you a warmup 'hon?
If you like to debate how soon you should consider forgoing the gimme PAT in favor of the two point conversion, you've got that to play with here too. A successful two pointer after either of the Bills last two TD's makes for a different scene at the end.
As if it couldn't get worse, while writing this I have been watching the Patriots and Jets slug it out into OT.
The Bills just aren't in their class. It's sort of like the difference between a four star steakhouse and a place where you're excited to find out they have waffle cones.