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No, not on the 15-yard line with 29 seconds left and a touchdown away from winning an NFL game, like Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Bills in New England last Sunday. But in something, somewhere, some time ago, we were playing a sport and we felt nervous.
You probably know the feeling. Even though you're playing whatever you're playing for such small stakes, you still get nervous. I play in a golf tournament every year where the nerves crop up. You want to do well for yourself, and for your partner. And when it's a 4-foot putt to win a match the hands start to shake.
When it happens, it's embarrassing on two levels -- one that it's happening at all, the other that it's in a game that no one outside of you and your opponents know or care about.
It's crazy but it's true.
I think in their last three losses Ryan Fitzpatrick has choked in two of them. To me the interceptions near the ends of both the Tennessee and New England games happened for the same reason, that when victory was in sight Fitzpatrick rushed his processes.
In the Titans game he had time to notice that the Tennessee defensive back hadn't gone where Fitzpatrick said later he was expecting him to go. Sunday, he had time to notice that T.J. Graham had run his route differently than Fitzpatrick had expected. But in both instances the nerves kicked in, and the process was sped up, and the mistakes were sealed.
Isn't this what happens to us, too? When you start to feel nervous you go too fast. In golf, you don't take the club all the way back and the body starts to go before the club is ready. Then your hands try to compensate and the ball can go anywhere. I don't have as much personal experience with other sports but I think the same thing happens to a batter in baseball and a shooter in hockey. That extra split second is available to you, but you waste it.
I find how athletes handle pressure one of the most interesting aspects of sports. It affects athletes of all skill levels. The ones that handle it the best are the ones I admire the most.
A while back I made a list of the five best athletes I'd ever seen at handling pressure. My number-one choice was and is Serena Williams. Her ability to raise her level when the pressure is the most intense is uncanny. Very, very few athletes can do that, and she does it regularly.
One of Williams' better rivals through the years was the now-retired Elena Dementieva, a woman you may know better as Maxim Afinogenov's girlfriend (now wife). Because Dementieva visited Buffalo and even hit with my wife, we watched her results very closely.
She had all the talent necessary to win majors, but she never won one. The reason is that whenever she could start to smell the win, her level would fall off. Sometimes it was only one or two points, but it happened. When she was losing she was often unbeatable. But when victory was near, she'd falter.
I think the fear of winning is problematic to more athletes than the fear of losing. There's a certain relaxation that can help you when you're down. Expectations decrease, and in turn so does the pressure. But when it's winning that's before you, that's when it takes a special athlete to stay calm and perform in the moment.
She had all the talent necessary to win majors, but she never won one. The reason is that whenever she could start to smell the win, her level would fall off. Sometimes it was only one or two points, but it happened. When she was losing she was often unbeatable. But when victory was near, she'd falter.
I think the fear of winning is problematic to more athletes than the fear of losing. There's a certain relaxation that can help you when you're down. Expectations decrease, and in turn so does the pressure. But when it's winning that's before you, that's when it takes a special athlete to stay calm and perform in the moment.
Even though I'm no better at blocking out nerves than anyone else, I do know some ways to do it. I've tried two things. One thought you can try to wrap your arms around is that no matter whether or not you succeed or fail there are billions of people that won't care or even know. Try to focus on the relative unimportance of your competition and see if it keeps you calm.
The other method is to think about how your opponent is probably feeling. There's a good chance they're nervous too. And maybe that can give you strength.
I'm pretty sure New England was freaking out Sunday. The Patriots' defense simply couldn't stop the Bills, and they knew it. I bet there were lots of people on the Patriots' sideline thinking that the only way New England was going to hold on and win that game was if the Bills gave it to them.
Because the pressure was on the Bills too, that's what happened.