I recently visited one of the Amusement Parks in the Western New York area. Luckily, I brought a pen and pad of paper to keep track of some staggering statistics.
Number of Important Safety announcements coherently communicated by Park Staff over the PA: Zero
Percentage of English-speaking Patrons: 53%
Number of Noticeably Pregnant Women in line to go on a Roller Coaster with a 200-foot drop: One
Number of Couples making love in the Men's room, 15-feet from the Kiddy Rides: One, possibly two.
Number of Band-Aids lying on Park Grounds: Eleven
Percentage of People with Tattoos on their throat: 37%
Percentage of Men pushing strollers who still wished to be alive: 17%
Percentage of People wearing T-shirts with words on them: 96%
Percentage of People with no shirt: 4%
Percentage of People in Park who might be considered attractive: 1%
Number of Patrons urinating while waiting in line for a ride: Three
Number of 2-year olds seemingly left unattended for over 10 minutes while the parents rode the Scrambler: One
Number of times hearing a Ride Attendant yell at kids to get off of the Waiting Line Rails: Countless
Number of Pounds I weigh: 211 lbs.
Number of Pounds guessed by 'Birthday, Age, Weight Game' Guy: 184lbs.
Number of times I walked by a Corn Dog Stand and bought a Corn Dog: Zero
Number of times I felt Regret: Countless
Most of the people there were on crutches too for some reason.
06/22/2009 6:21PM
darien fake
i wish there was a "like" button on this like wonderful facebook
06/22/2009 6:38PM
the plane, the plane
thats Fantasy Island all day!
06/22/2009 9:08PM
hilarious
love the stroller one...
06/23/2009 12:16AM
Ride of Steel
No Fantasy Island ride has a 200 foot drop... That is some high quality Darien Lake
06/23/2009 11:49AM
Sad...
Darien Lake has gone downhill. It's a shame it used to be nice. Now it is just a welfare breeding grounds. I felt dirty after being there. The band-aid thing is terrible especially on the waterslide park.
06/23/2009 12:54PM
once at an unamed fair (in erie county)
I was heckled continuosly by a carney midway operator to play his stupid ball toss game. I ignored him for 10 minutes only to give in. I walked over to hand him the money and he ignored me (out of spite I guess) until I walked away defeated. I never wanted to punch somebody in the face so hard....but I was only 9 at the time and he weighed like 500lbs.
06/23/2009 12:55PM
once at an unamed fair (in erie county)
I was heckled continuosly by a carney midway operator to play his stupid ball toss game. I ignored him for 10 minutes only to give in. I walked over to hand him the money and he ignored me (out of spite I guess) until I walked away defeated. I never wanted to punch somebody in the face so hard....but I was only 9 at the time and he weighed like 500lbs.
To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 1 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy tips.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 2 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy tips.; tournament; WGR; Jeremy White; Golf; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 3 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy tips.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 4 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy.; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 5 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 6 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 7 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala; To prepare you for the WGR Celebrity Golf Tournament 2008, this video focuses on Hole 8 at Tri-County Country Club's course. Video hosts Jeremy White and Steve Warzala will share each hole's layout and strategy.; Golf; WGR; Jeremy White; Tri-County Country Club; Steve Warzala;
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