The biggest football game of the year will be played in Miami on Sunday and the itinerary has been handed to the WGR 550 staff. We will need to follow interviews, injury news, write a running diary of the game and give opinions on why the Saints/Colts came out on top. I'm in charge of watching the Super bowl commercials and telling you what I think.
I wish I was dead.
I hate Super bowl commercials and I'm being forced to pay attention to them. When am I supposed to use the bathroom? But, like Winston Churchill once said, "You dug your own grave with those Bachelor recaps. Now dig your way out."
The good news is that I'm already pretty confident that I know what kind of commercials are going to be shown. So, I'm writing the recap now in hopes that I won't have to do it again Sunday night.
Here's a recap of what think we'll see Sunday. If I'm wrong, you'll get another one next Monday.
Worst Five Commercials:
5. The anti-smoking commercial- These commercials are probably effective, but I object to the idea of the :30 documentary recap where they got 5 kittens addicted to smoking and then showed how slow they jog.
4. The unsettling beer commercial that shows an alcoholic trying to get rid of his DT shakes with a new easy-pour can that makes the beer come out faster.
3. Jamie Lee Curtis eating a case of high-fiber yogurt in the kitchen with her friends and then making out with a bunch of pubescent boys.
2. Bud Bowl 4.
1. The digitally reanimated corpse of Billy Mays displaying a new line of NFL licensed Snuggies.
Best Five Commercials:
5. Godaddy.com upping the 'soft core porn' ante with Danica Patrick stranded in a desert with the 1985 Chicago Bears.
4. ABC's cross-promotion ad where they reveal the ending of 'Lost'.
3. Chris Berman, Marie Osmond and Dan Marino each shoveling in handfuls of weight loss pills to see who can shed the most pounds in 30 seconds.
2. The beer commercial where the horses stop playing football to run over and kick the Kardashian family to death.
1. Bud Bowl V.
I hope you agree with me on my recap. Again, if none of these commercials actually happen, check in next Monday for the real Super bowl commercial recap....unless I'm fired or murdered by then. (fingers crossed)
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