4,000 people emailed me and called me a loser for watching the Bachelor. Actually, one guy just sent the same email 4,000 times.
That man will be happy to know that my wife and I hunkered down for some 'Bachelor' Monday night and the Mrs. fell asleep a half-hour in. I then proceeded to watch the next hour and a half knowing that she was out-cold and I could have switched over to the hockey game. Ladies and Gentleman, 4,000-email guy was right.
It is a compellingly awful show.
When we last left the Bachelor, he was choosing his future ex-wife from 24 women and 1 dude. Time has flown by and Jason Mesnick has narrowed the field down to 4 women.
He has already slept with one of them....in a tent.....on national television....in the backyard of a house ABC put him up in for the season....a few of hours after making out with some of the other women he's dating.
The highlight of the season so far has to be from the day Jason finally returned home to Seattle and his son Ty. There is this tragically awkward scene where Ty is upset that his dad is leaving him again to go on another date with an attention-seeking skank.
I'll try and describe the scene for you:
Ty- (a 3-year old kid who has a cameraman in his bedroom for a reality television show) "Daddy don't go tonight."
Jason- (taking off his shirt so America can see his abs again) "What's the matter, buddy. Are you a little grumpy tonight? Do you want me to leave you alone?"
Ty- "No. Stop trying to leave."
Jason (still not wearing a shirt) "Do you want me to get changed for my date in here?"
Ty- "No."
Jason- "Do you want to come into the other room with me so I can get changed for my date?"
Ty- "No, I want you to put your shirt on and call a therapist so I can begin my attempt at a normal life and drown out these memories of my father using his son to gain a place in popular culture."
Okay, the last line didn't happen but the rest of it did. I don't think it's okay to stick a camera in a 3-year olds room. I can't wait until 3 months from now to hear about how this guy is broken up with the stranger he proposed to on reality television.
Maybe I'm cynical.
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My favorite part of the American Idol season is coming up Tuesday night. You can break the show down into 3 parts.
1. The first two weeks of freaks.
2. Hollywood week, where they find their top 20.
3. Week after week of the same people butchering classics.
Hollywood week is compelling because I like the process of choosing the correct mix of interesting and talented people. I never agree with their top-20, so there's a little intrigue there.
I originally thought that there was no way the blind guy was losing this contest, until they whipped out an Osmond with multiple sclerosis. Who are you voting for America, the talented blind guy or the Good looking Osmond with MS?
It's like the King Kong Vs. Godzilla.
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Add to my parade of reality awfulness 'The Biggest Loser'. I will break this show down for you in 5 takes:
- It's cheesy.
- I hate the trainers like poison.
- The show is so repetitive and sensationalized that a 2-hour episode has about 7 minutes of actual content.
- It's a complete paid advertisement for gum.
- There's no way I can watch an episode of this show and not be motivated to make myself a better person.
You watch these giant people take their shirts off and get an a scale with their flab hanging over their belts and there's no way you don't cut down on the number of cheeseburgers you eat in a single seating. I've been eating granola for the past two weeks to help eliminate my trips to the vending machine.
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